Clarets Mad Tw*t of the Week 2002/03 – Week 32

Last updated : 04 April 2003 By Tony Scholes

Tw*t of the Week - Peter Kenyon
There is no doubt that football is in a mess, clubs are going into administration almost on a weekly basis so who better to try and put everything right than the Chief Executive of one of the big money grabbing clubs.

Manchester United’s Peter Kenyon did at least do football one great service, he replaced Martin Edwards, but he now thinks he is the one person we should all listen to when it comes to improving the game.

Recently he came up with a novel plan to cure the game’s financial problems – it was to just have 40 clubs playing the professional game. To hell with the rest said Kenyon, he wasn’t bothered as long as his greedy club were only going to gain from it. This notion won him our award in Week 17 but Kenyon hasn’t stopped at that.

Now he has stuck his nose in to the television debate. It seems Sky can move fixtures for live coverage just when they like with games now kicking off at all weird and wonderful times. The one time they cannot show matches is between 2:30 and 5:30 on a Saturday afternoon.

That is to enable lower clubs to get their games in without the competition from a big match on television. We are not just talking about the Football League here but every league imaginable in the pyramid right to local football.

But Kenyon wants the ban lifted, not because it is good for the game but because he thinks it is good for Manchester United. He hasn’t the slightest interest in any other club and given his views not much interest in the game of football.

Even his own fans are against this move and have been leading the fight against it this week, sadly Kenyon isn’t interested because he can see even more pound notes coming his way if the rule changed.

He wants to take a long hard look at the state of the game and a long hard look at his own club’s contribution towards it. Then he either should shut his mouth or admit that his interests are limited to making more money for his own club. This man is bad news for English football.

Second place - Lancashire Police
When the Clarets take to the field for their last home game of the season against Sheffield Wednesday they will do so 90 minutes earlier than envisaged. The game will now kick off at 1:30 p.m. and not 3:00 p.m.

But this is not a decision from the league nor from either or both of the clubs. In fact both clubs have made it clear that they would have preferred the 3 o’clock kick off.

It has been brought forward by the Lancashire Police for no obvious reason whatsoever, they have said it is on safety ground. This game is less than three weeks away, people have already started making arrangements. One supporters’ group have had to cancel an important meeting because of it.

We all know that the police can change fixtures just when they like, we all know they have a power within the game that has helped ruin the FA Cup in terms of replays. They should however be duty bound to explain why they are doing something and not hide behind a ‘Safety reasons’ comment.

They have been supported this season with their high profile presence at a number of games but this sort of thing does nothing other than get the backs up of those supporters who would never think of causing the police any problems on match days.

If they want to change the time of a fixture it is about time they were forced into having a very good reason and making that reason known to all affected by it. This time they have gone against the wishes of both clubs and their supporters, but do they give a damn?

Third place - Alpay
On Wednesday at the Stadium of Light England beat Turkey 2-0, won well and played well. It was never going to be an easy game against the temperamental Turks and some of their players certainly seemed to lose it as defeat became inevitable.

None more so than Aston Villa’s Alpay. The player who is now reduced to just the occasional guest appearance for his club following a string of disputes could have found himself getting sent off on at least three occasions in the closing stages.

One challenge on club colleague Darius Vassell was worthy of a red card, there was another foul on Beckham and then he manhandled the appallingly weak Swiss referee Urs Meiher in a move that would have seen Alcock produce a theatrical dive.

Quite clearly he is round the bend and Aston Villa, in fact English football, is much the better for the fact that we don’t have him playing every week. Incredibly he wasn’t even yellow carded and neither was his partner in crime, Blackburn’s Tugay.

There is no doubt it is going to be difficult for England over in Turkey and we can only hope that we get a stronger but fair referee. The game got away from Meiher but he could have brought it back into control easily by taking the appropriate action against Alpay who I am sure enjoyed the blown kisses from Beckham.

Our own club again came very close to making the top three as the row over the loan of Glen Little coupled with the season ticket spin continues. I just wonder if the club are aware of the animosity towards them right now and how this could have an adverse effect on season ticket sales. The reaction of the fans is surely worse than they could have ever expected.

Almost making it, but probably we will hear more next week, are the Football League and Franchise following yesterday’s decision to sanction the move to Milton Keynes for next season.

Don’t forget to keep a look out over the next few days for candidates for next week’s award. You have until midnight next Thursday to send your NOMINATIONS to us and all will be revealed next Friday.

The winners so far,

Week 1 – Roy Keane (Manchester United)
Week 2 – Jeff Winter (Referee)
Week 3 – Football League’s Football Disciplinary Commission
Week 4 – Alex Ferguson (Manchester United Manager)
Week 5 – Luton Town supporters
Week 6 – Barry Knight (Referee)
Week 7 – Burnley FC Showboaters
Week 8 – Tony Livesey (Editor Sunday Sport)
Week 9 – The Directors and Owners of Franchise FC
Week 10 – David Sheepshanks (Ipswich Town Chairman)
Week 11 – David Davies (Football Association)
Week 12 – George Boeteng (Middlesbrough)
Week 13 – Andy Hall (Referee)
Week 14 – Craig Hignett (Coventry City Loan Player)
Week 15 – Garry Flitcroft (Blackburn Rovers)
Week 16 – Craig Bellamy & Alan Shearer (Newcastle United)
Week 17 – Peter Kenyon (Manchester United Chief Executive)
Week 18 – Lee Bowyer (Leeds United)
Week 19 – Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
Week 20 – Gerard Houllier (Liverpool Manager)
Week 21 – Gerard Houllier (Liverpool Manager)
Week 22 – Stockport County Football Club
Week 23 – Andy Todd (Blackburn Rovers)
Week 24 – Farnborough Town FC
Week 25 – John Mackie (Reading)
Week 26 – Alex Ferguson (Manchester United Manager)
Week 27 – Jean Tigana (Fulham Manager)
Week 28 – Mark Cooper (Referee)
Week 29 – Rodney Marsh (Sky Clap-trapper)
Week 30 – El-Hadji Diouf (Liverpool)
Week 31 – Burnley Football Club
Week 32 – Peter Kenyon (Manchester United Chief Executive)