Clarets Mad Tw*t of the Week 2002/03 – Week 16

Last updated : 06 December 2002 By Tony Scholes

Tw*t of the Week - Alan Shearer (with Craig Bellamy)
Our winners this week come from St. James Park Newcastle and we are going to have joint winners for the first time, so difficult is it to separate them.

It appears that playing up front for Newcastle United gives players the idea they can do just what they want but thankfully the two players involved are both going to be punished for their actions.

First we had Craig Bellamy who took the law into his own hands with just five minutes of his side’s Champions League game gone against Inter Milan. In retaliation he both punched and kicked Inter’s Marco Materazzi and was immediately sent off.

Bellamy has since been publicly criticised by his manager Bobby Robson who has made it clear that he let the side down and that he would be facing a fine from the club besides the suspension he will receive that will keep him out of forthcoming matches in the league.

But what about captain Shearer, with his side already down to ten men and a goal down he sticks his elbow into the back of Fabio Cannavaro’s head. He got away with it, the dreadful referee missed it, but he will now face UEFA based on video evidence that could see him as well as Bellamy out of the side.

Now there are those who would suggest that Shearer would deserve any punishment, that he has had it coming but has he shown any remorse, not on your life. "I’m not at all worried, said Shearer. "Their player was holding me and I had to try and get away."

So obviously Mr. Shearer thinks that it perfectly alright to use an elbow just because he is being held. I think UEFA will see that somewhat differently and by the end of today Shearer will find himself serving a suspension.

We’re into the boardrooms for second and third places and we start with second place and our old favourite Charles Koppel from Franchise.

Runner Up - Charles Koppel's family atmosphere
Just when I thought this guy could stoop no lower, he does just that. This week this disgraceful Chairman has been boasting how much better off his club is without fans. With attendances plummeting and new record lows constantly being recorded Koppel has suggested that the club is much better off without them both in terms of atmosphere and financially.

He claims there is a great atmosphere now at the games and with the protesters no longer there families looking for an enjoyable day out at the football are returning. Unfortunately Mr. Koppel couldn’t give any hard evidence of the returning families with attendances dropping faster than the proverbial stone. The real truth is that no families have returned at all.

But then it gets better and Koppel claims that the club are now in a much better financial position because match day costs are now lower. He is able to boast about reduced stewarding costs because a number of stands remain closed on match days and he also claims because of the very poor attendances the rent for Selhurst Park is not as high. He must not have told them about the returning families enjoying their Saturday afternoons.

I suppose that all means there is no need to move to Milton Keynes now if the finances are improving. Koppel hasn’t worked that one out and said this week, "We have set a date internally for our move to Milton Keynes and we’re very committed to getting it done this season."

You really cannot take this man seriously, he would be laughable if he wasn’t wrecking a football club in the process.

Third place - York Chairman John Batchelor
Treating fans with contempt is as low as you can get and our 3rd place this week goes to a Chairman who claims to be a Claret, John Batchelor who is (we think still) Chairman of York City.

He arrived earlier in the year as their saviour but things haven’t been just as they should have been. Despite assurances that he would acquire Bootham Crescent this has not happened and now a planning permission request has gone in to build housing on the ground. Promises made to the trust have been unfulfilled.

But this week he has had the fans dangling whilst he has apparently changed his mind on a daily basis. It looked as though he had agreed to hand his shareholding to the trust and in fact said so at the home FA Cup game this week over the public address.

But since he has been changing his mind one way and the other so the fans don’t know what’s happening. Chairmen should not be allowed to do this to supporters and Batchelor’s actions this week have caused a lot of anguish at York.

It does though look as though his days are at an end there and it will be left to the Supporters’ Trust to carry on the fight against former chairman Douglas Craig whose company own the ground.

A couple of Premiership managers, in fact former England managers, have received nominations this week and both for the same reason. Both Terry Venables and Kevin Keegan have been sowing the seed this week to plan their escape routes and it looks as both of them want out as soon as possible from their current posts. The barrow boy will probably be looking to get back into television whilst Keegan just looks ready to do another runner.

ITV have received some nominations again this week, this time because they have had the nerve to whinge about the fact that they paid too much for the Premiership highlights and are not getting their expected return. I’m sure all football supporters will be delighted to hear about that.

Surprisingly there were no nominations for the referee from our game last Saturday. It shouldn’t be a surprise, he had a decent game, but it is a rare week indeed when he gets away with it.

Regular Sourness was in though and his constant bleating about referees. Yes they can be bad but not every week and not for every single decision that goes against him. That’s what he would have you believe.

That’s it for this week and all we ask now is you keep a look out for potential winners of this prestigious award in week 16. You have until midnight next Thursday to send us your NOMINATIONS and we will reveal all next Friday.

The winners so far:


Week 1 – Roy Keane (Manchester United)
Week 2 – Jeff Winter (Referee)
Week 3 – Football League’s Football Disciplinary Commission
Week 4 – Alex Ferguson (Manchester United manager)
Week 5 – Luton Town supporters
Week 6 – Barry Knight (Referee)
Week 7 – Burnley FC Showboaters
Week 8 – Tony Livesey (Editor Sunday Sport)
Week 9 – The Directors and Owners of Franchise FC
Week 10 – David Sheepshanks (Ipswich Town Chairman)
Week 11 – David Davies (Football Association)
Week 12 – George Boeteng (Middlesbrough)
Week 13 – Andy Hall (Referee)
Week 14 – Craig Hignett (Coventry City Loan Player)
Week 15 – Garry Flitcroft (Blackburn Rovers)
Week 16 – Craig Bellamy & Alan Shearer (Newcastle United)