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Clarets were devoid in the clues department and played like headless chickens throughout, deploying a rush back goalie system for this must win game, Stan deciding that whilst we don't need a substitute goalkeeper, we can now do without one on the pitch as well. A little harsh maybe, but the pathetic attempt by Feetfirstos for the third goal deserves special mention, this on a day where defending was at school ground levels, the result leaving Clarets' fans with a week of anxious Teletext scenario pondering in front of them.
On a cold, dry, yet sunny day and on a bobbly surface, an unchanged Clarets side took to the field in front of an expectant visiting section that began the afternoon in boisterous mood. The home club had given away red caps to all their fans, a win would guarantee safety in the First Division, this after they had topped the table way back in September, funny old game.
The game began brightly with Clarets the better of the two sides, though this lasted until Little gave the ball way cheaply for the opening goal midway into visiting territory after only five minutes. A simple ball down the line cut out West, who ambled back as Boulding picked up the pass. Cutting inside Davis' half hearted challenge he stepped in front of West and curled a low shot past Nicos Helplessos and the redcaps were one up in the sunshine.
Would this wake the Clarets up, we wondered as the fans tried to rally their troops? Well they tried and a Little/Grant combination stretched Mariners defenders, if only for a corner, from which nobody attacked the ball, a tactic deployed throughout the sorry afternoon. Second attack, second goal for the home side after only ten minutes. Ball, Davis, Gnohere and Thomas all stopped as Ball hacked his man down, the ref though waved play on and we were caught with pants down.
Starting the chase from a standing start, nobody was going to catch Boulding as he cut into the area, West came across leaving his man, Nicos Nomanslandos could only parry the cross and Allen was there at the far post for the simplest of tap ins, yet another soft goal conceded, the clock just nudging ten past three, as scenes of home delirium were matched with scenes of increasing anger in the visiting ranks.
Judge Stan found West guilty and replaced him with Weller on twenty minutes, in an attempt to resolve Clarets defensive shortcomings. On this showing even three subs were not going to be enough to resolve the shambles at the back. True both fullbacks were constantly being caught out, but the central pair of Davis and Arthur were also wanting in terms of pace and where with all, to cope with the runs of Boulding and Allen who were having a field day.
On twenty five minutes as Moore burst into the area, we began to think of the goal action jingle, but in choosing his shin pad in preference to his boot, the shot was weak and Coyne collected the ball easily. On the half hour mark Thomas' cross was "saved" by Coldicott, but the officials were having none of it and another isolated incident passed by.
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Three nil down, not quite half time in a must win game, tempers were very high in the visiting section. So high in fact that, there were many threats and arguments raging as the teams left the field amidst boos or cheers, depending on which section you were watching from.
With suggestions of straws and clutching, Stan withdrew Ball and Little, replacing them with Gascoigne and Taylor at the start of the second half, a half in which Clarets would slightly improve, though from where they were coming, this was not a task from the difficult department. Five minutes in and Johnson was dragged to the ground by the last man, the ref issuing not a card for the misdemeanour, Gascoigne sending rows H&J into catching mode as the ball flew harmlessly over.
Clarets' fans burst into life, not from the display at Blunder Park, but from those elsewhere, as key score lines from Millmoor and Selhurst Park came in via tranny men in the crowd. We had to endure half the half for a Johnson header, another tame one, easily caught by Coyne. Clarets' fans sustained their chants of support as the team knocked the ball about aimlessly, as home hero Allen was replaced by Livingstone, the ex-Rover adding more spice to the visiting chants.
Coyne finally had to make a save, a fine one at that, this after Taylor's great header was aimed at the top of the goal. Robinson replaced Butterfield with fifteen remaining, before Nicos went into rushie mode yet again, completely missing his kicked clearance, Arthur coming to his rescue to clear from within the area.
He was reminded of his inept performance when ironic cheers greeted his collection of a loose ball in the very next attack. With ten to go, Gascoigne missed the target completely after a loose ball fell kindly to him, before Coyne saved again from Taylor, Clarets trying to get something from a game already conceded. Davis missed an open goal after good work from Johnson with two minutes remaining.
Just when you sensed it was a day to forget, up stepped Briscoe to clip home Johnson's cross, the ball going in off the far angle for minor celebrations, a consolation on the day, but THAT goal may just see Clarets in the playoffs as other results came in.
In a four goal swing in goal difference terms, THAT goal is the one that sees Clarets clinging to the final play off spot, over Narrrwch as we look to next week and what is really really the biggest game of the season.
Att:- 9,275.
Star Gazer
Perm any one of the starting eleven, but my vote goes to our rushie Flapateverythingbos. His defenders have lost confidence not knowing what or how, he is going to deal with loose balls and the embarrassing manner that he conceded the third goal was absolutely pathetic.
Glass Half Empty
In front of a sell out attendance this was a cop out performance. I for one would dearly love to know what the game plan was for this game.
Star Geezer
My, this is a tough call. Hmm... Hmm.... Gascoigne just. At least he tried and refused to punt the ball aimlessly down the pitch. This was the first game in which he has played where his contribution improved our overall game.
Glass Half Full
I sold my spare ticket. Oh and Briscoe's goal was a good one.