Happy Birthday to me

Last updated : 14 January 2016 By Tony Scholes

My dad nearly missed that FA Cup tie in 1952. He had to rush down from Bank Hall Hospital after the birth of his eldest son but got there just in time to watch Les Shannon score the only goal to win us a home tie against Liverpool in the next round.

Sadly, neither my dad nor Les are around now to tell the tale of that cup win, but 64 years on I was certainly there to watch and report on our big win last night and what a way to celebrate your birthday.

I've seen us win league games by four clear goals at Cambridge in 1985 and Colchester in 1998 (both 4-0), the often referred to 6-2 win at Wrexham in 1991 that landed the manager's job for Jimmy Mullen, and the 5-1 win at Portsmouth in 2012, when Charlie Austin scored his first Burnley hat trick, coming on as a substitute, and Danny Ings scored his first Burnley goal.

The only other occasion I've seen us net five was at Grimsby in October 2002 but on that occasion it wasn't good enough to get us even a point as we went down 6-5 in a farce of a match.

They were packing them in

I'm always nervous of a game on 12th January and, as you all know my thoughts on last night's opposition, it was one I was desperate for us to get a good result from.

Our journey down was fine, despite the incessant rain, although there was one scare when one passenger, aided and abetted by the driver I have to add, thought it appropriate to produce a cake with lighted candles.

Before anyone thinks we were close to setting the car on fire there were only two candles (that's half of four candles or fork handles) on the small cake, one in the shape of a six and the other a four.

After an excellent, and well researched, pub stop we pulled into the retail park (and that is what this franchising was all about) around 7:10 p.m. to be greeted by a £7 price tag just for parking the car.

We were at least parked close to the away entrance but what a joke the away accommodation is. I can fully understand clubs moving away fans from behind the goals to accommodate home fans; the likes of Hull, Middlesbrough and Sunderland have all done that in recent years, but what on earth is the logic of shoving us into a corner up in the rafters when virtually the rest of the stadium is empty. They announced an attendance of 10,011; I can only assume at least four to five thousand of them were in fancy dress and all as black seats.

I've not approved of much so far, but I did of the choice of pre-match music which featured David Bowie with his picture appearing on all of the four big screens. If they thought it was going to show off their Heroes then they were badly disappointed as Burnley gave them their biggest defeat of the season.

We made four changes which meant we were unchanged from the team that had played in the last league game against Ipswich. Matt Lowton, Joey Barton, Scott Arfield and Andre Gray were all out of the starting eleven for the cup tie at Middlesbrough but all four returned with all but one of them getting on the scoresheet.

The game all started quietly on the pitch with little happening at either end before we got in front through Barton's first Burnley goal. It owed much to Darren Potter who doesn't have the best of fortunes against us. He was in the Liverpool side that were beaten by us in the FA Cup eleven years ago and it was he who was caught in possession by Barton which allowed the midfielder to break clear.

Some players aren't good in one-on-one situations, others, such as John Deary, are so good that you know they are going to score. I don't think there were ever any doubts with Barton and he finished expertly to give us the lead.

In interview after the game he said he'd always been a good finisher, his problem being that he doesn't have the pace to get there often or not to finish.

That was about it in the first half to be honest in terms of goalscoring opportunities. There were half chances at either and with the home side, for all their possession, hardly threatening. They huffed and puffed but that's about all they did so quite on earth how their manager Karl Robinson thought they were better than us in the first half only he will know.

Half time in the dressing room was much about the players being told to up the tempo; the chat on the concourse was that they were there for the taking and my word, we were soon doing that taking.

The second half left me feeling as if all my birthdays had come at once and it didn't take long to get started. With only 28 seconds of the half gone the lead was doubled. When Scott Arfield found Sam Vokes on the left hand side there didn't appear to be much danger, but he got past three defenders leaving him with a run on goal. He was to the left, but he opened up his body and hit a right foot shot across goalkeeper David Martin and at 2-0 you sensed it would take a disaster for us not to win the points.

With almost an hour gone, and with no suggestion that they were up for a comeback, George Boyd came on for Michael Kightly who had more than played his part. Just a few minutes later it really was game, set and match when Andre Gray made it 3-0.

He was first to meet a superb Barton free kick from the left. You would suggest that Martin might have done better with the header, but he didn't and it squirmed into the net, giving Andre his first away goal since the beginning of October.

At this point we might, and probably should, have been playing against ten men. Jordan Spence had given away the free kick for a foul on Stephen Ward and then promptly threw the ball at the grounded full back.  Incredibly, he wasn't even yellow carded.

First Burnley goals for Joey Barton and Matt Lowton

It mattered not and when Lowton's ball across from the right evaded everyone, he was about to add his name to the list of goalscorers. Arfield picked it up on the left. He found the hugely impressive David Jones who in turn played it to substitute Boyd.

Boyd played the ball right back across the box for Lowton to come in and hammer home. It was becoming good fun now and it was to get better.

Boyd broke through only to be brought down by Antony Kay just outside the box. This time the referee did get out the red card. I did laugh at the reporting of this on the home side's official site. They wrote of our 5-0 win: "Three of the goals coming after Antony Kay was sent off in the second half." They must not do simple arithmetic in Milton Keynes.

We might have had the goal of the match and the goal of the season from the free kick. Arfield played it short to Jones who flicked it up before attempting an audacious shot on goal. Unfortunately it got a deflection off a defender which helped loop it just over the bar.

It was that sort of night by then; it was exhibition stuff and Boyd ended the scoring with a superb shot after being played in by Gray. It's his second goal of the season and both have come against the same team. Maybe he'd like to play them every week, then again maybe everyone would like to play them every week.

Fredrik Ulvestad and Rouwen Hennings were on by then, joining in the fun, and Hennings was so close to getting his third Burnley goal. He did so well to get the ball under control but saw his shot just miss target.

The Burnley fans were so respectful of the opposition; there was no singing of Is there a fire drill? but that's probably because there weren't enough home fans there in the first place to actually make a visible early exit.

The visiting fans were singing We want six and even Attack, Attack which would certainly have bemused Louis Van Gaal. There was even mock booing when we played the ball across the back.

But there was a fantastic ovation at the end.

5-0. The last time we did that away from home was on 31st May 1947 at the Boleyn Ground against West Ham. Our scorers that day were Jackie Chew, Billy Morris, Harry Potts(2) and Jack Hays and it was the clinching win that secured promotion back to the First Division in the first post-war season.

With a stop off Birmingham Airport for the first drop on the way home, and then a coffee stop to help keep the driver awake, I was home by around 1:45 a.m. and still with a massive smile on my face.

It wasn't my birthday by then, but what a birthday I'd had; a 5-0 away win no less and at the franchise I despise so much.

The Beatles might have sung about being 64, but thanks Burnley FC for making my 64th birthday so special and one to remember.

The teams were;

MK: David Martin, Jordan Spence, Kyle McFadzean, Antony Kay, Dean Lewington, Darren Potter, Samir Carruthers, Rob Hall (Jake Forster-Caskey 74), Ben Reeves (Daniel Powell 61), Josh Murphy, Nicky Maynard (Simon Church 74). Subs not used: Cody Cropper, Lee Hodson, Joe Walsh, Dean Bowditch.
Red Card: Antony Kay.

Burnley: Tom Heaton, Matt Lowton, Michael Keane, Ben Mee, Stephen Ward, Michael Kightly (George Boyd 58), Joey Barton (Fredrik Ulvestad 72), David Jones, Scott Arfield, Sam Vokes (Rouwen Hennings 76), Andre Gray. Subs not used: Matt Gilks, Tendayi Darikwa, Michael Duff, Matt Taylor.
Yellow Cards: Joey Barton, Ben Mee.

Referee: Steve Martin (Staffordshire).

Attendance: 10,011 (including 927 Clarets).

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