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The Blues fans at school were a miserable bunch too, always moaning about this or that and always maintaining, despite the outrageousness of the claim, that they were a bigger club than Villa. Even though we never played them back then, they were easy to dislike.
Birmingham as a city has come on leaps and bounds since the 1980s. What was once a filthy city centre of concrete tower blocks and urine-soaked under-passes is now a vibrant metropolitan hub with clean streets, bars, cafes and a spanking new Bull Ring shopping centre. People who haven't visited since those bad old days still don't believe me to this day that Birmingham has changed but it's true. It's changed almost beyond recognition and it's a lovely place to see.
The same is not true of Birmingham City FC. The injection of millions of pounds from Cockney porn barons and a couple of spells in the Premier League has not wiped the misery off the faces of the Blue contingent. 'God, we're awful, you know mate,' whinged the programme seller in that distinct Brummie drawl that everyone loves to hate. Childhood memories of the tales of Birmingham woe came flooding back to me with a strange nostalgia.
'But you're still third in the league, can't be that bad?'
'Oh it is mate, honestly. Wait and see when the game starts. You'll see. We're abysmal, I promise you. I'm not coming back next season, we're that bad.'
Perhaps Birmingham are that bad, I thought but I doubted very much that he'd stay away. Blues' fans are never happier than when they've got something to whinge about in my experience. I'll see him on the corner selling programmes next season if we're still in the same league.
When the game started, a neutral could have been forgiven for thinking that the morbid programme seller had been right - Birmingham looked terrible. But to only take that from the game would not give Burnley the credit we deserve, especially for our first half performance. Only wasteful finishing and a farcically bad mix up in the heart of our defence prevented The Clarets from running out as comfortable winners at St. Andrew's.
We immediately got into our stride and played the sort of flowing football that has torn apart many a Premier League defence this season. Blake and Elliott were on the flanks and they both terrorised the Birmingham defence, making purposeful runs and whipping in dangerous crosses. The link up play with Paterson and Thompson up front was executed with precision and we looked genuinely dangerous whenever we went forward.
The breakthrough came after only three minutes when McCann struck a ball across goal to find Robbie Blake in the left hand side of the box. From the away end it appeared as if Robbie had shaped to shoot and scuffed it but whatever his intentions the Ball found Martin Paterson who drilled home unmarked from a few yards out.
A Birmingham fight back was not on the cards. Burnley continued the pressure and Birmingham simply had no answer to our free flowing passing game. McCann was also getting into the attacking positions where he is often at his best, Alexander set up camp outside the Birmingham box to mop up any under hit clearances and Kalvenes and Williams overlapped brilliantly down the wings.
We did not have to wait long before we carved open the Birmingham defence again. Paterson broke down the left and with a deft shimmy left Ridgewell on his backside. He danced around the prostrate defender and squared to Blake for a clear shot on goal just 12 yards out. The boisterous away following was on its feet ready to celebrate but unfortunately Blake somehow contrived to sky it high and wide.
It was not to be only the only squandered opportunity we had to put the game out of Birmingham's reach before half time. Thompson had one effort saved and also had the ball in the back of the net only for it to be disallowed for backing into his marker. The whistle went well before it hit the net but Thompson compounded the point by getting himself booked for dissent.
Then it was McCann's turn to misfire in front of goal with two efforts either side of a ten minute period of play when Birmingham couldn't get close to the ball. The first was the culmination of a great piece of link up play as Thompson and Blake combined outside the Birmingham box with neat little passes that scattered the home defence and set panic amongst their ranks. Together they teed up McCann but the ball sat a little high, he failed to get over the ball completely and sliced his volley disappointingly wide. The second of McCann's chances came on the end of a long, direct ball from the left that dropped perfectly at his feet inside the box. His shot was tamely hit straight at the goalkeeper but the linesman's flag would have ruled it out anyway.
Throughout the whole of Burnley's dominance, Birmingham had literally nothing to show. Their only answer to Burnley's passing game was to hoof the ball up the pitch to Cameron Jerome or try and release the lively Scott Sinclair with the same tactic down the left. Most of these balls were mopped up easily by Duff and Caldwell at the back who both looked to be playing with composure. When the odd ball did get through Jerome and Sinclair had an obvious quality about them but they constantly found themselves running into brick walls as our defence snuffed them out.
And to compliment the cracking football that Burnley served up on the pitch, the Birmingham fans served up some entertainment of their own when they broke out fighting amongst themselves. I presume they were arguing about just how bad they are. The Police waded in to break it up but our entertainment was not finished there. As the long arm of the law withdrew with its compliment of collared hoodlums one of the little rapscallions broke free and made an audacious dash for freedom by attempting to run down the length of the upper tier on the backs of the upturned chairs. A great air of expectation grew amongst the Claret following as the spectacle unfolded and we waited for his inevitable fall. When it came, it was funnier than we could have hoped. He lost his footing, put his arms down to break his fall only for his upper appendages to disappear in between two rows of chairs and for his head to cushion the blow as he came crashing -hilariously- down to earth. Thankfully, he didn't seem irreparably damaged as the Police scooped him up and led him away.
Moving back to the game, there looked to be no way through for Birmingham until we imploded at the back 37 minutes into the game to gift them a goal. Birmingham were enjoying a rare spell in our half but there appeared to be no danger until Caldwell under hit a bobbling back pass to Beast who panicked and attempted to head the ball to Williams. It bounced just behind the approaching Kevin Phillips who swivelled and knocked it passed Beast to equalise. To say it was against the run of play is an understatement.
The goal lifted Birmingham and they rallied slightly, ending the half with a bit of bluster but nothing to match the quality we had shown earlier. There was a slight scare just before halftime when Scott Sinclair flopped pathetically to the ground once he had made his way into our penalty area but the referee was thankfully having none of it.
The second half was much more evenly matched. Birmingham reappeared long before Burnley following the interval. The rollicking they most probably received at halftime was proof of Burnley's dominance but we could not match our first half performance and with Birmingham making a game of it the second half was a much more attritional affair.
There were few clear cut chances in the second period. We thankfully regained our heads at the back and despite increased pressure from Birmingham we limited them to just one clear chance from open play which fell to Bowyer who shot wide early in the second period.
Aside from that, the best opportunity Birmingham had came when the referee conspired to give them a shot on goal at the edge of our box after 55 minutes. The nippy Sinclair looked to break across the edge of our box but was decisively tackled by Kalvenes who slid in and plucked the ball cleanly from the young winger. Horrifically the referee blew up for a free kick and booked Kalvenes for his troubles. The resulting free kick was well saved by Beast who tipped it round the post for a corner but it came very close to nestling into the back of our net. It would have been a real travesty if it had resulted in a goal. I am well aware that tackles from behind are now banned, as are two footed lunges but I was not aware that clean sliding tackles have now become bookable offences even when a player cleanly and safely wins the ball. Perhaps someone can enlighten me? Kalvenes can count himself unlucky to pick up his booking.
At the other end of the field our attacking play seemed blunted by a reinvigorated Birmingham defence but we still created at least one opportunity to win the match when Thompson could have done better with a header 8 yards from goal. The cross may have been a little behind him but it was disappointing to see the ball land softly in front of Maik Taylor and the chance go begging.
Chris Eagles and Jay Rodriguez came on for last few minutes but their contributions were minimal as the game petered out slightly. Rodriguez did valiantly against a strong central defence and managed to win a few balls but Eagles' dribbling game was hampered by a pitch that was cutting up badly and appeared to be slowly freezing as the evening dawned. Eagles did attempt a cheeky shot from near the touchline in the dying minutes but Taylor in the Birmingham goal never looked worried and it was the last of the purposeful action.
It would be easy to agree with the miserable programme seller and conclude that Birmingham are a bad side based on this performance. But let's make it clear, it was a rampant and brilliant Burnley who made them look bad. If we had put away the chances we created in the first half we would have come away from St. Andrew' as comfortable winners. Another thing needs to be pointed out: Birmingham are third in the table, have won 16 games this season and have a squad assembled on a Premier League budget. Perhaps they are bad but then again, perhaps their fans are just a miserable bunch?
Yes, we should have won and we only have ourselves to blame for not taking all three points back to Turf Moor but it's still a point away from home against one of the league's big boys. I can't help but feel a little disappointed but because of the performance, I'm choosing to take the positives away from this match. After all, I wouldn't want to end up like a whinging Brummie.