We feel it has become necessary to offer you this special invitation because of or worries that you might not be happy with the way you are looked after when you do arrive at Turf Moor.
This has been prompted by our terrible behaviour three weeks ago when you welcomed us into your gaffe,
I think the problem is Joe that we have this idea now of actually trying to stop the opposition from scoring goals and it looks as though this is where you had your problem with us as we did everything we could to stop you scoring after we had the audacity to go and score ourselves.
There was also the problem of trying to take resources away from the Suffolk Health Service by our players who you considered were demanding treatment despite having no medical problems whatsoever.
You did single out one of our travelling party in particular, a Mohammed Camara, and if indeed this is the case I am sure we can make a suitable donation to the health service as recompense.
I do think your worries have also been caused by the fact that we have in recent years done as we have been told by yourself and allowed ourselves to throw one in against you on three separate occasions, twice allowing you to score six whole goals and on the other occasion just five.
I’m so sorry we don’t do that any longer and sorry if it does upset you, and I’m sorry if we don’t try and play the sort of football any longer that ensures our hosts or visitors can score lots of goals.
I really do hope you don’t think it is too mean of us to try and prevent you getting goals, it is something we are only just coming to terms with ourselves but we still would like to offer you a warm welcome.
Yours sincerely,
The Clarets
PS: I did used to enjoy it when you were at