You can't beat a bit of bully
Feature by Tony Scholes
Updated Friday, 28th July 2006
A day trip to Milan should be simple enough but the Clarets Mad team were forced into a split with three making the journey an hour later than the rest.
The first stop was the Stadio Giuseppe Meazze, perhaps better known by some as the San Siro Stadium. It's home to the recently crowned Champions of Italy, Inter Milan, and also one of the recently found guilty clubs, AC Milan.
It is a stadium well worth visiting, so distinctive and one of the top stadiums in the world, or so you would think. In reality it is somewhat tired looking and in need of something of a facelift. Mind you, they will soon be able to afford one, given the rip off charges for the stadium tour at 12.5 euros. For that, apart from the small museum, you are taken into one end of the stadium, the AC end, spoken to four about two minutes and given a short time to take photographs before being marched out again.
A quick visit to the race track followed, where Martin was photographed with Leonardo Da Vinci's horse, it stood quite a few hands too high for the little lad to have any chance of mounting.
We were soon back in the centre of Milan and the Piazza del Duomo where the entire team were attacked by the kamikaze pigeons, three of which hit the Clarets Mad editor, one of them sending his cap flying. That forced us to take lunch in a top Italian restuarant, it was called McDonaldos.
Next stop was the cathedral itself and we were impressed to learn that one of our team, none other than young Damo, had done his research and was able to give us all invaluable information regarding this stunning building.
It was incredible inside, and of course quiet. That was until Big Dave, a message board favourite, decided to let us know that Pakistan had been bowled out for 119. No one was expecting the text message, blasting out the theme tune to Bullseye just as we were about to enter the crypt. Still it was good to know that Harmison was back in form with the ball even though it was probably not the best time to inform us.
After a meander around the city it was time to go back, but again a split and two seperate parties arrived back at the Desenzano base two hours apart before getting together again for dinner.
There was a sensation as Damo and Martin decided to have sex together, and shamelessly in front of the entire group. Martin admitted that the earth moved for him whilst the whole experience left Damo with a smile on his face for the rest of the evening.
It had all been a fantastic day out, Milan really is worth visiting, other than the constant pestering and intimidation from beggars and street sellers. Just a pity that none of us could afford to do any shopping there.